You are Enough

As an adult, I see children being their authentic selves all the time.  If they're in grade school, they may stop, suddenly self-aware, if they make eye contact with me and realize that I am in the process of seeing them.  Or they'll continue with their activity but slowly stop, giving me the side-eye, watching to know when I've stopped peering in their direction so that they can return to fully being themselves.  But those preschoolers don't have that moment of recognition that maybe they should stop.  I don't know why we suddenly become judgmental of ourselves and feel shy when we become aware of someone spotting us in our fun, but psychologists have some theories.  I try to remind myself that being wholly, goofily, creatively, uniquely myself is EASY.  I innately did it as a child.

I am participating in the Writing Contest: You Are Enough, hosted by Positive Writer.  As an adult, I can probably more easily write all the ways that I sabotage myself into inaction and can make excuses for that behavior, leading me to believe that I am not enough, but where would that leave me?  In my head again, not creating.  Being given a topic is always a pleasure for me to write creatively around that theme.  And I am a largely positive person, so I am gifting myself this time to write.  To create again.  To accomplish something useful with my time...while I have time.  I don't take having it for granted.

We all go through peaks and valleys and, when I'm feeling blue, I somehow tend to believe that I am alone in my misery and no one can possibly understand what and how I'm feeling.  This is, of course, untrue and I somehow, blessedly, eventually come out of my funk and look back at my thoughts during my downward spiral.

It is at this time that I realize again, with clarity, that I am never alone - not only because I have been gifted with two parents that are still with me, siblings, relatives and friends who love me, but also because Everyone goes through hard times and feels alone & unique in her misery.  And if I had no one to remind me that I am not alone, and perhaps because I am a spiritual person, I am thankful to know that I am enough.  Of course, I am not alone in this discovery, because you are also enough.

When you feel so gross and unattractive, riddled with thoughts of how unlike the rest of society you are, I hope that you also know, even if it's in the recesses of your consciousness, that you are great.  You can roll your eyes now, if you wish - I might too because, as much of an optimist as I am, I am also a sarcastic little snot head.  However, you know that I'm not lying.  I mean, we look at babies as perfection and have so much hope for them in the world.  They are a welcome addition to the planet.  Well, you were one of those babies and you are perfection.  Your very presence is enough and you can do that thing you want to do so desperately but believe that you cannot.  If another human has accomplished it, it is possible  And if another human has not yet accomplished, it is probably also possible.

Do you want to write, tell stories?  Be a bold and innovative thinker?  Write a pulitzer prize winning tome?  Ok!  But your first and maybe even your 70th may not be the prize-winning piece...but you won't know, and you won't get to that piece, if you don't begin.  I am participating in this contest not knowing what to write.  I'm letting my fingers do the walking and I am judging and wanting to start over but I am not because it is October 1st and I realize that the deadline is today.  I finally got a blog started and the end of the contest is today so I'm doing this whether I love it or not.  With each new paragraph, I've wondered just what it is I'm trying to say and I've hit CTRL A so that I could freely hit DELETE and start over until I get that really great entry - the WINNING entry - but I am going to stay the course because my very participation is enough.

I've often stopped myself before I've begun because my lofty goals have prevented me from showing imperfection but I've gladly evolved into a person who knows that showing the ugly is necessary.  No one and nothing is perfect.  Even Lin-Manuel Miranda (how DARE I?!!?  Take it BACK!) because he is human.  And thank goodness he is because it only proves all the more that you are enough.  If this carbon-based life form can create something so beloved, so can you.  And, again, it needn't be beloved.  Just write, create, scrawl, regurgitate and share.  If I can do it, so can you.